This summer, I went on a Russian sleeper train from Moscow to St. Petersburg on the Russian train network, RZD, and asked some people to review the ticket they had bought:

Anton: The bed was not designed for me because I sleep on my left side and there was a strangely placed iron rod about a third of the way in from the right so I spent an intimate night with a face full of wall. Also everyone in the carriage was subjected to a front row viewing of my bum, which paraded itself high above everyone like a strange and deeply unimpressive sun. But if you sleep on your right side I heartily recommend travelling with RZD.

Anya: There was no option to open the window, which I was disappointed by. Fortunately the train’s air con managed to bring the temperature down by a good two degrees or so, so it was only 29. That’s apparently one degree below the melting point of the fat man next to me so RZD saved my life.

Artem and Vanya: The train served as the perfect party location. The four bunks side by side gave us the opportunity to create a two-tiered lash arena, where we could could get festive with some brewskis and sing in full voice. One downside was that it was a little hot and the condensation started dripping off the roof. This was fine until a passing Siberian giant slipped on a stream of perspiration that had formed on the floor. His insane flapping did nothing to slow his descent down, and there was, for a moment, a worry that he would go right through the train’s floor and onto the roaring rails below. He was fine, but we ended the party at his polite request.

Dmitrii: I bought a ticket on the train’s lottery but I didn’t win anything. At that price you’d expect to win something even if it was just some kind of novelty cheese for my key ring but that’s just the world we live in I suppose.

Vika: I bought one of these with my bf. The privacy of the bottom bunk is to be applauded – only four other people and any passers by were aware that we were canoodling all night long. At this kind of price that’s good value in my book! However, I would not recommend moving to the toilet to finish the job as the English guy opposite us was subjected to the sounds of us rutting in surround sound while he desperately hammered on the door, which killed the mood a little. Something about dodgy chicken wings the night before.

Sasha: I enjoyed my train ride with RZD. A word of warning though – the beds are a little short. The problem here is that you spend the night either coiled up like an irritable spring, or you form a kind of human hurdle. Owing to the fact that the lights get turned down pretty low at night time, my face was assailed by a pair of particularly stout legs that found themselves outstretched from the top bunk and over the walkway in the darkness. The floor was pretty wet as well, so I skidded a good few metres before I was brought to a stop by the bed of a romantically active couple. I was left with a severe bruise, and I’m not sure they do compensation here.